Genuine UK Swingers: Advantages of Swinging

Sexual variety, sexual fulfilment and the potential of carrying out of one's fantasies are among the advantages of swinging.

Sexual excitation increases for both partners as a result of the new types of sexual experiences and there are discussions of actual sexual experiences. Women receive a great deal of positive reinforcement. They may begin seeing themselves as more desirable. Women uniformly report that they have been able to shed sexual inhibitions that they were raised with. According to many swingers, you have more of a feeling of your own "personhood". You think of yourself as a person and not a thing. Many swingers say that swinging creates stronger bonds between couples.

Married couples find that swinging increases their ability to communicate with each other. Many couples believe that if a married couple can discuss swinging together they can discuss anything. Generally, swingers believe they experience individual growth and develop an ability to communicate better with other people. Generally, swingers believe that swinging has a positive effect on their marriage. About 85 percent of both husbands and wives feel that swinging is not a threat to marriage or love between spouses. None of them reported that their marriage became worse since they began swinging and the majority felt their marriages had improved. Husbands, in particular, consistently reported a high level of marital happiness and adjustment. Apparently, swinging has had no negative effect on the sexual lives of the couples; in fact, swinging couples have sexual intercourse more frequently than the general population. More than half of the swinging couples have, sex together more than four times a week as compared with only 16 percent of the general population. Many swingers reported that rather than dampening their ardour for each other, swinging often caused an arousal of sexual interest for each other. Many of them often engaged in sex together immediately after returning home from a sex party. The effects of swinging most often reported are the following:

(1) Couples experienced an increased feeling of warmth, closeness, and love, often most intense immediately after swinging when the couple got together and discussed their experiences. This is as if the swinging experience was proof of their love.
(2) Knowledge and confidence regarding sexual technique was more fully developed.
(3) Social life was enriched and active.
(4) Couples became more open and honest with one another in all areas of their relationship.
(5) A benefit for some was that sexual behaviour was taken out of the dark and became a normal activity.

Another effect of swinging is that there is a change in the meaning of sex, that is, of what is appropriate sexual behaviour, in what situation, and with whom. Sexual behaviour in swinging becomes more broadly defined to accommodate a wider range and choice of behaviour than in a typical monogamous relationship. Sex takes on a different meaning for a wife and her spouse when she engages in oral-genital sex with another swinger in the presence of her husband. In addition, the idea that sexual exclusivity between marriage partners symbolises devotion, trust, security, and love no longer exists and non-exclusivity comes to symbolise these things. Further, sexual behaviour loses its mystery, its secretiveness, and its aspect of "something done in the dark" and takes on more the character of normal everyday activity.

Swinging is an alternative that is emerging within the traditional structure of marriage in this country. Except for their participation in co-marital sex, most swingers are living in a traditional nuclear family. One advantage for many people involved in swinging is that, except for sexual behaviour, little change is required in major values related to the traditional family form. Swinging requires changing basic values related to monogamous sexual behaviour or admitting values that are different, at least from what individuals have paid lip service to in the past. Families, who swing find that, except for sex related areas, it does not require substantial changes in behavioural and functional roles. There is some evidence, however, that such sexual activities sometimes require changes in how couples handle jealousy, power, and so forth in the marriage. Swinging probably represent the least revolutionary of the emerging alternative lifestyles examined in this book.

Generally, swingers challenge traditional beliefs only in the area of sexual monogamy. Strong relationships outside the pair bond are still, for the most part, regarded as threats rather than potentials for personal growth. Generally, contemporary swingers view sex as a recreation, which is relatively consistent with a consumer-oriented society, although there is development of personal growth and change through swinging. Swinging may be a preservative rather than a catalyst for change in the basic structure of the family in our society. Swinging may be viewed as a bridge between old and new values for persons who need old values to feel comfortable in our changing society. Swinging, for the most part, only violates the sexual exclusivity value and not other basic values revolving around the traditional nuclear family. Rules on sex, paternity, and social relationships among swingers make it an adjunct to marriage rather than strictly an alternative. Swinging supports rather than disrupts monogamous marriage as it currently exists in our society.